Hey, thank you. Thanks for reading, and thanks for commenting.
What I hope is clear is that we're not wrong to feel anger. We just could be better at how we respond to it sometimes. It's a lot to ask of ourselves. Anger can sneak up on us.
Thank you for leading by example with your vulnerability here, Damon. I loved the observation that your dogs sense your anger before you do. This hits home for me, and I'd include my wife and my kids in the mix. I feel like so much of my personal work is learning to become the earliest witness!
I like that you flag the value of having "safe enough" environments in every-day life to practice noticing. Doesn't have to be a meditation practice, therapy, or coaching. Those spaces will certainly accelerate the development of skillful noticing and a changed relationship with experiences like anger we'd rather not have, but anything we are willing to do consistently and add a little layer of awareness to can do wonders.
For sure. Meditation is to noticing, and all of noticing’s positive outcome like calmness, what weight training is to strength and all of its positive outcomes like independence.
One can practice noticing, calmness, strength and independence outside of these keystone practices, but they do arise together more succinctly with their unifying sources of practice.
That all being true, meditation and weight training can be intimidating invitations.
I think about my dad's explosive temper and how I swore I'd never be like that, but for many years, I caught myself doing this slow-burning thing that's probably worse in some ways. At least his anger was obvious. Mine hides behind 'rationality' and comes out as sarcasm.
Thanks, Neela! There may be a very annoying reason why that is, meaning it’s a reflection of world that’s unfair to women on this point.
You might check out @Ryan Martin’s Substack. He just published a piece about anger and women, how in the aggregate, women in professional spaces are faulted for anger expression, whereas men are celebrated. Men are seen as being edgy, confident. Women are seen as being emotional (shocker).
Women either suppress their anger and get labeled as pushovers, or express it and get labeled as difficult. There's literally no winning move in that game.
Being with you almost two decades now, I’ve witnessed your work on this. I really feel that you have something here that can be useful to all of us. Thank you for sharing! 🫶🏼
Thank you for sharing
It's always helpful to hear how other people handle o manage certain emotions. Some can be relatable while other ways are surprising. Great read.
Hey, thank you. Thanks for reading, and thanks for commenting.
What I hope is clear is that we're not wrong to feel anger. We just could be better at how we respond to it sometimes. It's a lot to ask of ourselves. Anger can sneak up on us.
Thank you for leading by example with your vulnerability here, Damon. I loved the observation that your dogs sense your anger before you do. This hits home for me, and I'd include my wife and my kids in the mix. I feel like so much of my personal work is learning to become the earliest witness!
Same. I also think of this intention like meditation. It feels more like failing than winning. Worth it.
I like that you flag the value of having "safe enough" environments in every-day life to practice noticing. Doesn't have to be a meditation practice, therapy, or coaching. Those spaces will certainly accelerate the development of skillful noticing and a changed relationship with experiences like anger we'd rather not have, but anything we are willing to do consistently and add a little layer of awareness to can do wonders.
For sure. Meditation is to noticing, and all of noticing’s positive outcome like calmness, what weight training is to strength and all of its positive outcomes like independence.
One can practice noticing, calmness, strength and independence outside of these keystone practices, but they do arise together more succinctly with their unifying sources of practice.
That all being true, meditation and weight training can be intimidating invitations.
I think about my dad's explosive temper and how I swore I'd never be like that, but for many years, I caught myself doing this slow-burning thing that's probably worse in some ways. At least his anger was obvious. Mine hides behind 'rationality' and comes out as sarcasm.
Happy Wednesday Damon :)
Thanks, Neela! There may be a very annoying reason why that is, meaning it’s a reflection of world that’s unfair to women on this point.
You might check out @Ryan Martin’s Substack. He just published a piece about anger and women, how in the aggregate, women in professional spaces are faulted for anger expression, whereas men are celebrated. Men are seen as being edgy, confident. Women are seen as being emotional (shocker).
There’s a catch-22 with women.
Women either suppress their anger and get labeled as pushovers, or express it and get labeled as difficult. There's literally no winning move in that game.
Will check out Ryan’s substack.
Thank you for the rec…
Being with you almost two decades now, I’ve witnessed your work on this. I really feel that you have something here that can be useful to all of us. Thank you for sharing! 🫶🏼
Thank you. I can always count on you to support me.