What a great piece. Thanks so much for this. Noticing what you're noticing is really what I'm trying to get guys to do more of as well. You've put it so poetically and profoundly here. I believe it's an important start.
The only thing better than reading this is hearing it read. It's truly beautiful writing and you make such a complex topic so palatable and easy to unfold. I've found that in the days since reading this I am trying to wake up in the moment and see what if anything I am sensing and being AOK if I don't understand.
In a way, colloquial phrases like "the energy" or "the vibe" almost feel equal to capturing these felt senses. You hit the nail on the head (heh, technological metaphor) in describing the limits of linear, conventionally-rational thinking in this territory. Yet our cultural embeddedness often nudges us to apply reasoning-based language even to whatever component was felt or "intuitive". I try to imagine telling people I left my superficially secure corporate job because I "had been sensing a shift" and that "the shape of what is next is still forming"-- hey, perhaps a good experiment there.
"Relational field" as a phrasing hasn't quite clicked for me yet, for whatever reason.
No shade on logic. I love a little linear thinking, when applied at the right time, and in the right place. It’s just not the panacea we imagine it to be.
There is something arising right here, usually in the body, that’s worth noticing. It can be cloudy. It can also be very intense. Working with it is the only way to understand it because words fail to capture the nuance.
Relational fields is one I’m still chewing on myself. That’s how I come into these essays. I don’t have many satisfying answers.
What came up for me was the possibility of this being a sort of class issue.
Upper classes CEOs Politicians… reading rooms and people like this is a required skill.
Like or death success or failure
I don’t know that it’s an actively malicious campaign to keep lower classes down by having them ignore these signals
But I do think it’s one of those skill sets that most successful men need and yet men are discouraged from acknowledging it exists let alone working on it.
That an interesting observation I’d not considered. As with anything worth our attention, there is a potential dark way to wield anything worthy.
What strikes me about this observation, and this is not empirical in any way, is that I imagine said CEOs are less likely to notice the whole of the field. “The room,” as it were, says nothing of internal experience. Not for most people.
I take the view that the internal experience is part of (or an expression of) the field. It most certainly is, and this is noticeable, but I doubt it’s part of the calculus when “reading the room.”
It wasn’t when I was in leadership, and it wasn’t when I performed Shakespeare in front of an audience of over a thousand people. In both cases, I was definitely reading the room.
What was happening in my body? At best, that would hit me afterward, off the stage. I wasn’t noticing the whole field.
In my experience as a coach, but also as a long-time meditator, noticing the body is a novel experience for most people. Getting deeper than skin-level sensations, when invited, is mostly confusing.
Although I’d noticed something of this when high on various substances, cannabis primarily, it wasn’t until I sat my first ten-day retreat that I tuned into the absolute starfield that is the internal flow of… something.
To be fair, this internal “something” is mostly missed by most of us. Even many people who attend ten-day retreats leave confused about what they were supposed to notice.
All of this is contained in the field when we can notice it. We’re just not conditioned to, such that—I suspect—most people won’t even follow me in this point.
Thank you, @Shlomo Homnick , for prompting me to expand on this.
Brother I like what you're saying. As a lifelong Star Wars geek I believe in the force. it's not that I see or can predict the future it's just that I'm aware of my surroundings. From almost 10 years I dealt with members of the public who were strangers to me and I had to speak with them and educate them and talk to them and I got really good at reading the room. It's just a sixth sense. It may also be just picking up on small cues, , , emotional or whatever.. either way I would say it's one of the things I've learned the most in my last 30 years or so as an adult. Basically it's how to see what we cannot see. But feel. Always emotion. Always in motion is the future. Carefully you must when sensing the future. Sorry enough Yoda quotes. But realistically being able to sense the subtleties and pick up on the little cues and read the room that is truly your biggest Ally. Regardless well spoken my friend always enjoy your reads.
I’m with your rational brain on the sage and crystals 😂
But I also know the experience you’re describing. I’ve walked into rooms, heard someone say "I’m fine," and known with absolute certainty that fine had left the building.
Sometimes someone changes by half a degree, and somehow we feel it before we can identify it.
Whether we call it intuition, pattern recognition, or a relational field, something is being noticed.
What a great piece. Thanks so much for this. Noticing what you're noticing is really what I'm trying to get guys to do more of as well. You've put it so poetically and profoundly here. I believe it's an important start.
Thank you, Jim. Agreed. I see it as an invitation into something like a start. There’s so much more.
Side note. It just occurred to me that you use “guys” (versus men or boys) with gentle intentionality. Am I making that up?
I do. Nice observation.
Do you talk about why anywhere?
The only thing better than reading this is hearing it read. It's truly beautiful writing and you make such a complex topic so palatable and easy to unfold. I've found that in the days since reading this I am trying to wake up in the moment and see what if anything I am sensing and being AOK if I don't understand.
Beautiful, Jeff.
It can be so powerful just to do this one thing, notice what arising, and then ask yourself, “Can I be okay with this right now?”
Not forever.
Not happy about it.
Just tolerate this for the moment.
Theres always a felt-something, even when we don’t notice it. It’s there.
Thank you for being here, brother.
In a way, colloquial phrases like "the energy" or "the vibe" almost feel equal to capturing these felt senses. You hit the nail on the head (heh, technological metaphor) in describing the limits of linear, conventionally-rational thinking in this territory. Yet our cultural embeddedness often nudges us to apply reasoning-based language even to whatever component was felt or "intuitive". I try to imagine telling people I left my superficially secure corporate job because I "had been sensing a shift" and that "the shape of what is next is still forming"-- hey, perhaps a good experiment there.
"Relational field" as a phrasing hasn't quite clicked for me yet, for whatever reason.
Thank you for being here, and for adding a verse.
No shade on logic. I love a little linear thinking, when applied at the right time, and in the right place. It’s just not the panacea we imagine it to be.
There is something arising right here, usually in the body, that’s worth noticing. It can be cloudy. It can also be very intense. Working with it is the only way to understand it because words fail to capture the nuance.
Relational fields is one I’m still chewing on myself. That’s how I come into these essays. I don’t have many satisfying answers.
Great post. Great read!
What came up for me was the possibility of this being a sort of class issue.
Upper classes CEOs Politicians… reading rooms and people like this is a required skill.
Like or death success or failure
I don’t know that it’s an actively malicious campaign to keep lower classes down by having them ignore these signals
But I do think it’s one of those skill sets that most successful men need and yet men are discouraged from acknowledging it exists let alone working on it.
Hmm
That an interesting observation I’d not considered. As with anything worth our attention, there is a potential dark way to wield anything worthy.
What strikes me about this observation, and this is not empirical in any way, is that I imagine said CEOs are less likely to notice the whole of the field. “The room,” as it were, says nothing of internal experience. Not for most people.
I take the view that the internal experience is part of (or an expression of) the field. It most certainly is, and this is noticeable, but I doubt it’s part of the calculus when “reading the room.”
It wasn’t when I was in leadership, and it wasn’t when I performed Shakespeare in front of an audience of over a thousand people. In both cases, I was definitely reading the room.
What was happening in my body? At best, that would hit me afterward, off the stage. I wasn’t noticing the whole field.
In my experience as a coach, but also as a long-time meditator, noticing the body is a novel experience for most people. Getting deeper than skin-level sensations, when invited, is mostly confusing.
Although I’d noticed something of this when high on various substances, cannabis primarily, it wasn’t until I sat my first ten-day retreat that I tuned into the absolute starfield that is the internal flow of… something.
To be fair, this internal “something” is mostly missed by most of us. Even many people who attend ten-day retreats leave confused about what they were supposed to notice.
All of this is contained in the field when we can notice it. We’re just not conditioned to, such that—I suspect—most people won’t even follow me in this point.
Thank you, @Shlomo Homnick , for prompting me to expand on this.
Brother I like what you're saying. As a lifelong Star Wars geek I believe in the force. it's not that I see or can predict the future it's just that I'm aware of my surroundings. From almost 10 years I dealt with members of the public who were strangers to me and I had to speak with them and educate them and talk to them and I got really good at reading the room. It's just a sixth sense. It may also be just picking up on small cues, , , emotional or whatever.. either way I would say it's one of the things I've learned the most in my last 30 years or so as an adult. Basically it's how to see what we cannot see. But feel. Always emotion. Always in motion is the future. Carefully you must when sensing the future. Sorry enough Yoda quotes. But realistically being able to sense the subtleties and pick up on the little cues and read the room that is truly your biggest Ally. Regardless well spoken my friend always enjoy your reads.
I’m pretty sure Lucas didn’t come up with that stuff out of nowhere. In fact, I thought he took a lot of inspo from Japanese samurai culture.
Love that this resonated.
I’m with your rational brain on the sage and crystals 😂
But I also know the experience you’re describing. I’ve walked into rooms, heard someone say "I’m fine," and known with absolute certainty that fine had left the building.
Sometimes someone changes by half a degree, and somehow we feel it before we can identify it.
Whether we call it intuition, pattern recognition, or a relational field, something is being noticed.
What's up, Damon!!!
Hope you are doing well.
Right. We walk into a space and immediately feel like the exit door is cozier than any seat in the place.
And what happens when we ignore that feeling because we can’t put our finger on why we’re feeling it?
NO I’VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE A MILLION TIMES WHY??
What’s up? Me? Chillin. Mostly been working on my business, but also in it. It’s been nice.
Hope you are well as well. (Thank you for being here, Neela.)
Hahaha. The million-times part is relatable.
I think half the problem is that we’ve been trained to distrust anything we can’t immediately explain.
Good to hear you’re doing well, Damon.
I have. It is a field of a different kind. The Telepathy Tapes podcast will serve you well.
The worst tax.
Hi, Caron! Great to see your name pop up. Thank you for being here, and thanks for the tip.
Thanks. It's good to be able to read your work again. Been a while as I have been dealing with a heavy debt of #LifeTax.