Wonderfully written, brother. Congrats on the new 'Stack.
Tolerance as a gateway to other things, or just good on its own, is a great framing.
I'm reminded of when I was in the military. At that point in my 20s, I was a pretty bleeding heart "liberal" and hated anything that smelled Republican. Being in a heavy construction flight in the middle of Montana really forced me to explore the edges of what I considered to be tolerable. I learned what I could tolerate, but not agree with. I learned what I could not agree with or tolerate. I also learned the strength to take a stand when my tolerance had been exceeded. This usually strengthened relationships rather than fracturing them.
I will broadly say that many men I know could benefit a lot from being reminded that we benefit greatly from exposing ourselves to the company of others, especially those we may not agree with strictly based on a social media presence, to learn those edges. Invariably, this will teach us more about ourselves, but that doesn't matter to most. Let's just be selfish and say that it's a less lonely life when your filters are less exclusive. Besides, discerning a sense of purpose in life seems to stem from leaning what you value, and learning what you value comes just as much from the "other" than it does from those who outwardly agree with you.
Exploring the edges of what we find intolerable is exactly the edge I was looking to describe in this piece. As you mentioned, we shift over time, and thus this edge shifts. Taking the time to discern what's "me putting up with" versus what's worth "me tolerating" is exactly the thing.
As a foreign resident in Mexico, I notice that most Mexicans (at least those in Quintana Roo, where we live) are way more tolerant than those of my home country. It's so different, I say it's impossible to miss the contrast. I wish my own people could have this level of tolerance.
Thank you for the kind words about the writing. Spread it around to your people. Let's start a revolution of tolerance.
Loved being part of your “men’s” writing 😁. Although I appreciate being used as an example, I find that as I age it becomes more difficult for me to tolerate things that I don’t agree with. Jan was a special case because we had an over 70 year history together……we had plenty to reminisce about and attempt to remember. I’m going to try harder in my tolerance of others and hope that even an old lady can change.
Thanks for this, and the distinction around tolerance about not needing to fix. It's intriguing to see how we affect one another by being in each other's orbit, without intentionally trying to change someone. Helpful thought today.
Wonderfully written, brother. Congrats on the new 'Stack.
Tolerance as a gateway to other things, or just good on its own, is a great framing.
I'm reminded of when I was in the military. At that point in my 20s, I was a pretty bleeding heart "liberal" and hated anything that smelled Republican. Being in a heavy construction flight in the middle of Montana really forced me to explore the edges of what I considered to be tolerable. I learned what I could tolerate, but not agree with. I learned what I could not agree with or tolerate. I also learned the strength to take a stand when my tolerance had been exceeded. This usually strengthened relationships rather than fracturing them.
I will broadly say that many men I know could benefit a lot from being reminded that we benefit greatly from exposing ourselves to the company of others, especially those we may not agree with strictly based on a social media presence, to learn those edges. Invariably, this will teach us more about ourselves, but that doesn't matter to most. Let's just be selfish and say that it's a less lonely life when your filters are less exclusive. Besides, discerning a sense of purpose in life seems to stem from leaning what you value, and learning what you value comes just as much from the "other" than it does from those who outwardly agree with you.
Exploring the edges of what we find intolerable is exactly the edge I was looking to describe in this piece. As you mentioned, we shift over time, and thus this edge shifts. Taking the time to discern what's "me putting up with" versus what's worth "me tolerating" is exactly the thing.
As a foreign resident in Mexico, I notice that most Mexicans (at least those in Quintana Roo, where we live) are way more tolerant than those of my home country. It's so different, I say it's impossible to miss the contrast. I wish my own people could have this level of tolerance.
Thank you for the kind words about the writing. Spread it around to your people. Let's start a revolution of tolerance.
Loved being part of your “men’s” writing 😁. Although I appreciate being used as an example, I find that as I age it becomes more difficult for me to tolerate things that I don’t agree with. Jan was a special case because we had an over 70 year history together……we had plenty to reminisce about and attempt to remember. I’m going to try harder in my tolerance of others and hope that even an old lady can change.
I have faith in you, Mother.
Thanks for this, and the distinction around tolerance about not needing to fix. It's intriguing to see how we affect one another by being in each other's orbit, without intentionally trying to change someone. Helpful thought today.
Hope to deliver many more helpful thoughts. If there is something you'd like me to tackle, please. Thank you, Hans.