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Neela 🌶️'s avatar

"What is a man (or woman) to do with all his unresolved shit?" I think the honest answer is this - you carry it. It's like a ballast. This still sits heavily with you. The people who put it down too easily are the ones who do it again.

At least that's what I think.

Happy Tuesday Damon...

Damon Mitchell's avatar

Thank you, Neela. I hope you’re right.

I continue to feel grateful for the reminder about what damn day it is, because I actually lose track. All the time.

Happy Tuesday!

Neela 🌶️'s avatar

My client reminds me of the day otherwise it will all be a friggin blur :)

On an unrelated note, did you happen to catch the documentary Manosphere on Netflix?

Damon Mitchell's avatar

I am... working my way through it, mostly during the evening dog walk, which is my wife's shift. I get about 15-20 minutes, give or take.

Jai Benson did a bang-up job talking about it in his recent essay, if you have the bandwidth.

Neela 🌶️'s avatar

I read it, and I wrote an entire article about “Algorithmic Masculinity”

I may just publish it next Tuesday and hope for the best, hahahaha

We do miss the finer points of this gender discussion, don’t we?

Neela 🌶️'s avatar

I will check out Jai's essay.

Thank you Damon

JJ Vega's avatar

I know you know how to forgive yourself, and especially the parts of yourself that need forgiveness. Someone says forgiveness; I say compassion, or recognizing that the hurts we carry need our Presence just as much as the people in our lives do.

I appreciate this story - it's a window into the complexity that is Damon. I also feel that boys do act like this, because we have territorial impulses that want to be funneled into protection of the tribe that need appropriate outlets and rituals to channel and form. We never got those in suburban America, but we find ways when we do things like band together with others and tip Port-A-Potties or egg houses.

This was a thought-provoking one - thank you, Damon.

Damon Mitchell's avatar

Also, there’s something about not needing to outrun the lion, just a little faster than one of the other people running.

Thank you for being here, JJ. Wise or not to concern myself, but your thoughts matters so much to me.

Sharie Jones's avatar

Oh the things I learn when I read these……credit card fraud, really? I’d forgotten about the screened porch vandalism, but live with a lifetime of my own regrets. I think we all do. Maybe that’s the punishment for the crime.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I’m currently reading the Power of Now. If you’ve not read it yet I’d recommend it.

Damon Mitchell's avatar

Thanks, Henny, for being here, for contributing, and for the reco.

It’s well nigh I give that book another looksee. In fact, you just reminded me that it’s been about 25 years since it first blew my mind. That was my first time stepping into the neighborhood of Buddhist philosophy. It felt like a firehose to all my assumptions.

Richard DAmbrosio's avatar

One of my earliest dives into mindfulness, and boy was it hard to understand Tolle my first time through that book. I think I started to get it the third or fourth time.

Damon Mitchell's avatar

100%

That opening section, though, where he wakes up in bed. It really sets the stage for the book. Who is this other me I seem to need to reconcile myself with?

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Firehouse is a great way to put it. This is my first time with it.

Damon Mitchell's avatar

Enjoy, Henny. (Sorry for the misspelling previously.)

Curious to know how it all lands for you once you finish.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

👍🏼 no worries, I got a weird name 😀

Damon Mitchell's avatar

You've got an awesome name, and you deserve for people to get it right, especially when it's right in front of my face.

CHAD BURBACK's avatar

That neighbor kid Chad, sounds like he could thrash right over a cool dozen steps without 'battin an eye!

For realzies though, you aren't alone in thinking about those past experiences. I often think about all the "bad" things I have done to others, for whatever the reasons. Yet I tend to block out all the "bad" things that were done to me by so called friends or even family.

Way to show remorse/regret, that's what make you HUMAN.

-Chin

Damon Mitchell's avatar

Wait. Was that Animal Chin on my old neighbor Chad's Substack profile? Folks, we've all seen him. He lives!

Brother, I think the hard part is not feeling like I've been able to reconcile this one. Living with the awful parts of myself, trying to forgive them is just plain hard. But you're right. This is the complexity of being human. We live with it until we don't.